Monday, June 24, 2013

Forgetting at an instant

Forgetting at an instant
 
For a long time, my mom all alone raised us; four daughters.
Looking back at those years, I don’t know how she managed to raise us up all by herself.
I cannot even conceive the idea of raising four children all by myself, but I guess it was all possible for her because she was my mom.
Few years ago, my mom had a big surgery.
Though she had to rest, because of the wretched circumstances, she just had to work strenuously.
Though we all grew up and became adults, since we were busy, we didn’t know or forgot how strenuous it was for her.
When mom comes home from work, she starts doing the housework right away.
After ten, she comes to my room and talks about her daily routine.
She isn’t a talk-active person, but these days she frequently stops by and talks to me a lot.
I really wanted to be nice to her, but I was exhausted. So I tend to listen to her vacantly.
Seeing how I reacted, she would quickly end her conversation and leave my room.
When this happens, I feel sorry for her.
I always make a resolution that I wouldn’t repeat this mistake again, but it happens to me all the time.
One day, seeing her leaving my room, her shoulders seemed so small.
When I and my sisters were young, she didn’t have a moment to talk with us.
That is why we always went to her to talk with her.
Whenever we did, she never showed how tired she was.
She always listened to all what we have said, but I didn’t.
Few days ago, my mom said that she had pain in her arms and legs.
I just told her to “go to the hospital,” and when she repeatedly said that every day, I started to ignore.
When I started to think lying down my bed, it reminded me that my mom had a surgery for cancer.
I forgot that she wasn’t a healthy person at all.
I felt ashamed that I just told her to go to the hospital.
During break time in my working place, I started to search for good medicine and food for my mom.
Thinking that I simply just needed to turn on the computer and type some words, I felt so sorry.
The reason how I could grow up without any trouble was because of my mom’s sacrifice.
And I…
I always forgot about her when I turned my back, went to work, and while I was having a hard time.
At this moment, Heavenly Mother is also next to me, praying for me continuously every day, every second.
But I always forgot.
Just because of the world that I am living in, because I was busy, because I was exhausted…
I just forgot about Her.
About Heavenly Mother who came down to this earth, who is sacrificing for me.
I truly want to be a filial daughter for my mom and to my Heavenly Mother.
I want to be a filial daughter who gives joy, happiness, and smiles.

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