The finger that hurts the most

The finger that hurts the most

They say that you wouldn't understand parents’ heart unless you had a child.

One thing that I was thankful raising my two children was that they grew up well, beautifully, and healthy.

However, I myself hurt my parents many times.

Thinking that I was the very person who scorched my parents’ heart from the point I was born, I feel so sorry.

I had an operation of grinding my back bone from an illness that no one knew about.

In the U.S. army, I happened to have an operation on a cold operating table without anesthesia.

I wailed as if the hospital might go somewhere, and the surgical scar still clearly remains.

I just remember it that it hurt so much that I thought I cried to death. But outside the operating room, listening to my cry, my parents who couldn't do anything for me, their heart would have sunk and have regretted.

“Maybe you have weak eyesight and are always sick because you were so frightened that time.”

My mom still worries about what had happened that time.

Whenever she says that, I just put her at ease saying, “Mom, it’s not because of that, don’t worry.”

But she still doesn't feel comfortable and turns her back and weeps. Seeing her crying, my eyes also ache with tears.

These days, I constantly miss my parents living in the countryside.

Though they didn't have much, they raised me fine and well and got me married.

Whenever I am on the phone my mom sadly says, “You’re the finger that hurts the most.”

I live far away from them and rarely call them, but the parents’ love for their child is just endless.

Through my parents; sacrificing for me until the end, I realize Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother’s love.

Despite of the endless sacrifice for many of their children, they hide their sufferings and pain.

The children are too ignorant to understand Heavenly Parents’ love.

How can we repay for their grace...

At this moment, I don’t envy anything at all.

I believe I am the wealthiest person because I believe in Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother, and that I am a child receiving that love.

Thank You Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother for giving Your endless love to this lacking child. I love You.