When the leaves fall

When the leaves fall

 

It was a windy day.

Looking at the leaves falling down on the crossroad where autumn was turning to winter, it reminded me how I felt during puberty.

'That tree sprouted and blossomed during spring, bore fruit during summer, and it became an autumn tree where there is no greenness in it, and the leaves are starting to fall... After the leaves all fall down, for it to blossom flowers next year, it would have to endure the intense wind...’

Looking at the tree, I wonder why it reminded me of my mom.

'From now on, people will start calling me a young youth instead of a young child... I become young and my mom becomes old.

Mom would have also had her childhood and youth, but now she is becoming old after delivering me... Just like how the tree raises the fruit by en rooting and absorbing nutrients, mom sacrifices and becomes old, raising me with her youth.

My heart hurt so much.

I didn't know why, but something made me feel sorry as I felt that I was taking my mom’s youth away.

I wanted to give her joy, so I asked what I should do to make her happy.

"Just be healthy, and though you are still a student now, I want you to do well at school, and so when you are matured, I want you to become a daughter who can live with high spirits even without me.”

With a child’s mind, having the simple thought that, ‘Mothers just love their children when they do well at school. So I should study hard...,’ I wasn't really the best student but was a child who diligently studied.

Being a grownup, I realized ‘do your best with whatever you have been given,’ was my mom’s hope for me to become a person who could be recognized by the society whether with great or small works.

God who created all things by His will...

It made me think that Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother would have been watching over me even during the days when I didn't know about Elohim God. Watching created all things, I am sure that it is Elohim God who allowed me to make me think and feel that way, and all the process of my growth.

It is Elohim God who called me to Zion before it was too late.

I imagined Elohim God would have been through, during the times when I didn't know about Zion.

Elohim God, who would have moved their steps here and there to find their lost children to prepare the warm nest for the children who would return, they would just have been reserving glorious today and tomorrow for their children. How could I possibly realize Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother’s pain and sacrifice which they have been through to build Zion?

For Zion; where all of my brothers and sisters and I dwell in harmony, to build this Zion of truth, the ark of salvation, Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother would have been through all troubles and labors. As I feel thankful and also sorry to them, how could I repay and give them joy?

I still don’t know how.

Like in my old days in puberty, I guess I am going through spiritual puberty.

But I think I somewhat realize...

The heart of our Father and Mother;though we lack, in order to give us the prepared gift of heavenly crowns, they raise us, their children...

Following Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother’s path, living a life obeying their words, I will become their child suitable to receive the reserved blessings, and become harmonious in thankfulness and lovingness with my heavenly family in our heavenly home.

I truly thank Heavenly Father andHeavenly Mother for allowing me to be the child of God.